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Currently Listening How Do I Live By LeAnn Rimes How Do I Live see related

its better

so things are better now. im not mad at james or anything. hes amazing. he helped me out the other night when i had posted the blog below. he helped me out that night.  made me feel happy and stuff. well...i havent seen him since thursday. but its all good. he might or might not be able to come over tomorrow. i dont know. i hope i see him somehow tomorrow. but ya...things are better. i cant complain bout my life nor can i brag bout it at the moment. its jus fine actually. its fine and dandy. i have nothing to complain bout...well some would say i do. but i dont think so. lol. but thats jus me. i dont feel like i have anything going wrong. but nor do i feel like i have anything going right. things are jus...going. lol. there not going right but theyre not going wrong either. life for me at the moment is at a satisfactory level. and im fine with that. i mean, i have an honest b/f who means alot to me and is going to make it up to me if he cant see me tomorrow...my parents arent really being douches or anything, friends are doin good...and work isnt bad either. so i mean...i dont have anything really bad goin. and im thankin god alot for jus not having really bad things happening. thank you god. you are amazing :D and i dont care what anyone says bout james and i dont care what james says...i believe that james really does believe in god and our savior jesus. wether he wants to admit it, believe it, or not. i really believe that he does believe in them. but for whatever reason...he jus doesnt want to admit it. or he doesnt want to believe it. but i dont know why anyone would even question on wether god is real or not. and i dont know why some people dont believe in god. i couldnt picture myself like that. god is a big important part of my life. he's helped me out in soo many differnt things and in differnt ways. hes answered alot of my prayers. hes showed me answers to some of my questions. and i couldnt get through life without him. i may not have a religion of my own. and i may not go to church every sunday. but just because i dont...doesnt mean i dont believe in god. i believe in him a lot. i dont need to go to a fancy big building or a small semi fancy building thats always decorated the same to show god that i love him. to me, the moment i start talking to god, i am in church. i dont need someone to stand before me in front of a big room to tell me things i need to know or should know. i have a bible in my room. i can read. if i really want to study up, i can jus bring out my bible in my room and start reading. i love god. and to me...thats all that should matter. nothing else should really matter. it shouldnt matter wether youre gay, bi, straight, whatever. it shouldnt matter if you have a religion or not. it shouldnt matter if you go to church or not. and it shouldnt matter if you curse like a fucking sailor. i curse all the time. but when i talk to god, i ask him to forgive me for my sins. and i know that asking god for forgivness...he'll give it to me. cause i know that he loves me. god loves me for me. and he loves everyone else for who they are. he created everyone on this earth. he knows how he wants people to be, how they should look and act. he knows it all. i dont want anyone to shove THEIR beliefs down my throat. and telling me that this is a sin and that is a sin. and you cant be this and you cant be that. all i have to say to that is fuck you. that is your belief. not mine. its your "religion" not mine. i stick to my own beliefs. and not one person can change that.

man...so ya...i think im done ^-^ so theres whats goin on in my life...and my opinions for the day :D

yay

i saw james today. yay. i talked to him bout some things that needed to be said and bout what he needs to do. jus some things. nothin too serious. but yea. he said he'll come over tomorrow. i hope so. i really like this kid. lol. haha kiid. lmao. yaa...but yea i really do like him. but im tryin to not fall too fast for him though. but ya...i uno. he said he was sorry for some things...once again...nothin major. but still. ya. then we spent the rest of the day jus hangin out with each other and our friends. but yea...im glad that when i get mad at some things he does...i think bout what im gon say before i say it to him and i say it calmly. i dont yell it to him or anything. cause really...theres no need. jus talking calmly to each other. makin them understand. ya know? ^-^ hes so understanding. and we have enough space to where we're not in each others hair everyday all day and night. lol. or not being around each other and it might as well not even be a relationship. haha. we have just enough space to keep us balanced when it comes to the relationship. so its all good. i think if we ever do yell at each other when arguing or something...i think itll be a long while from now. cause i cant imagine james getting mad. lol. and i get mad at him, but i cant imagine me getitng mad at him enough to where i gotta yell at him. lol. so i think if that happens...which it prolly will...itll be a while from now. ^-^ but it happens. haha. owell. anyways. ya. so life is better now. i got to talk to him, and i feel like i dont have alot of stress on me as much as i did before. i feel lighter now. i feel better than before. i uno...i felt all blah and stressed and crap...but now i feel better. and alot of it is thanks to my friends. and i thank them for it! ^-^ thank ya guys. youre awesome. and also thanks to james too for being so understanding and stuff. and makin me feel special and stuff. man...ya...

~EDIT!!~

so james most likely isnt coming over friday cause he has to work for his grandma... and i was lookin forward to it.